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The Disposition of My Vital Organs

by Kevin Janus

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1.
we fell asleep in Boston when we woke up in May and I couldn’t stop watching waiting for the words to say and I knew they’re no good for me yeah I knew they’re no good for me But Caroline she spiked it and I had like ten the metaphors and alcohol were present in my head and it seemed they were my beliefs anchor things that I shouldn’t speak no don’t breathe them in no don’t breathe them in introspective merit and the cops that only stared at you brain cells collapsing and my hopes are all of scaring you train me I’m a parrot I’ll do anything you ask me to a sin a sigh a croon a croon I won’t get into the things that I said just know that crooks and dirty looks can get to your head and it seemed they were my beliefs anchor things that led me to sink no don’t breathe them in no don’t breathe them in no don’t breathe them in no don’t breathe them in
2.
you can close your eyes now I promise you we’ll be home soon I keep fantasizing our shared Sunday afternoon isn’t it so lovely? It is such a lovely sight when desperation crashes and from its ashes hope takes flight I begin confessing as you begin undressing here you run your hands through my hair and whisper something in my ear and it is almost blinding the way that you light up this room I don’t want you leaving unless of course you take me too take me too go on forget our setting sun the dawn will make us new I’m caught yes I am lost again swimming in your sea of baby blue and please don’t look away from me don’t you ever, ever look away from me I’m caught yes I am lost again swimming in your sea of baby blue of baby blue
3.
let’s say we skip the bar and make angels in the yard beneath my lucky stars so bright my lucky stars there needn’t be much in what we say our breath floating away love know you own my heart let’s go back to the start I wouldn’t have it any other way I wouldn’t have it any other way I’ve been gone far too long so I wrote you this song I wouldn’t have it any other way when I get home you’ll wear a dress and I’ll sport my Sunday best don’t mind if I stare for hours I swear you’ve got superpowers shotgun push came to shove this night we will make love I owe you all the above let me give you all the above I wouldn’t have it any other way I wouldn’t have it any other way never again will I be gone and I’ll never stop writing you songs I wouldn’t have it any other way I don’t deserve you for how I hurt you that is what is and always it will be oh how I burned you but I swear I will earn you because darling you are everything to me you’re everything to me I wouldn’t have it any other way I wouldn’t have it any other way I wouldn’t have it any other way I wouldn’t have it any other way
4.
do you remember the songs I used to sing while you would cook in the kitchen of our first house? when we’d lay on the dinner table and stuff ourselves up until we’d nearly pop then you’d get too stoned and fall asleep alone oh I need that now oh I need that now do you remember the songs that used to bring us back from that which was pinning our limbs down? if you wrote me a note I kept it in the box that we got from the shop in Chinatown I don’t know who you see when you look at me now but look at me now please look at me now take all the time you need to catch your breath settle down the riots in your head I’ve never been one for patience but this will pass this will pass us by I know I met you status quo of “I told you so”s in our shared spent couple of years don’t forget about thrift store Mondays sappy sitcoms and drive-thru souvenirs I don’t know what you know but I’ve got nowhere to go now you are my home now you are my soul now if you could just stay with me now if you could just stay with me now if you could just stay with me now if you could just stay with me now if you could just stay with me now
5.
Haunts You 02:28
there is something missing in the substance of your spoken sound waves finding their graves must’ve been intrinsic implications of the rhythmic left unbled inside your head I hope it haunts you I hope it haunts you there is something leaking in the faucet of your keeper’s den the where and when pastels of a motel room experiment with crimson hues per se hey hey hey I hope it haunts you I hope it haunts you I hope it haunts you I hope it haunts you I’m bleeding out I’m bleeding out I’m bleeding out I’m bleeding out I hope it haunts you I hope it haunts you
6.
the air’s too bright and the coffee’s far too weak god damn let me get some sleep oh my god please let me get some sleep my mother called and told me to breathe I think it’s time I get some sleep because I’ve been cutting it close for ten long years filling up on things that no one needs Eleanor it would seem you lost your love you wear it on you like a stain on a dove run a bath pour yourself a glass of scotch burn a candle turn it down a notch the air’s too bright and the coffee’s far too weak these things are crawling all on me oh my god please let me get some sleep would you call me a role model if I dressed the part right? sans motivation twigged out and uptight I’m so uptight
7.
sky puts her face on I never wake up until it’s too late and when the time comes our vicious cycle leaves me dead again I never seem to notice when it comes and goes until it’s too late I never seem to know just when and why it came up in the attic coated in static and things that I can’t see all these illusions boil confusion and the blood inside my veins I’m waiting for it to hit me won’t you please just hit me I can’t feel a thing be it all my fingers or sticky guilt that lingers all around my grave the jesters are jousting far too much the hecklers are heckling far too much the records are popping from the dust and for the record I need it so god damn much
8.
Neon Pink 03:04
neon pink over leaking sinks there is prison soap and there are things it will not wash off me you sense the shape but you don’t sense the size I’m barrel rolling through my quarter-life now sink it in my skin pin it on me I can’t stop shaking there will be no making this up to you route sixty-six signs won’t pass our time I didn’t see it but I heard the crash mother fuckers moving way too fast now horses and their steeds our dirty deeds there’s too much to know now there’s too much to know now share with me the blow now share with me the blow now don’t go now don’t go now don’t go now control neon pink were the panties that winked in me in my dream stark euphoric prehistoric things
9.
Saving Face 03:48
the shadows crept on second place as we were dreaming of saving face your neighborhood crashed to the ground and I was left alone with all these things that I won’t live down the fires that we burned too loud the names of faces we shouted out seven trips to the corner store they made it such a drag to get back up to the fifteenth floor and it’s in my mouth but it won’t come out I would sing so loud but it won’t come out so we went quick on the one and done with spinning wheels and sinking suns you can call it trouble I call it fun with this that and the other you discover it’s just begun and it’s in my mouth but it won’t come out I would scream and shout but it won’t come out we were saving face simply saving face as a means to an end
10.
Cherry Hill 05:42
my muse don’t lose your head choose serene instead sweet surrender now I can show you how I’m new I’m east of Cherry Hill the booze has been replaced with pills these pills will sing me off to sleep bon soir I stumble to a dream sweet surrender now sink inside the sound my vice has no grip on me enticed I let the demons breathe self soothe sing the hymn of peace I ooze with something make believe sweet surrender now soar into the clouds I’m east of cherry hill taking all my pills sweet surrender now sweet surrender now
11.
I fell in love with a princess she made sure that I meant all of my words when it came to distress no interest in such things are so absurd in the light of a candle we flicker and we falter we burn out on the marble alter our hopes are framed and we can figure out I’m still drying out I’m still drying out all the while we’re running turning out heads away from this gruesome scene but the static’s stunning planted roots contentment disbelief devil in the details it’s madness it is mayhem mark my words in the pit of despair the only certain thing is we’re uncured it’s seldom in spades darkness is still darkness in that suit call in the cabaret cadences in cunning combat boots in the mist of morning magic is as magic does in here in the brisk of warning baiting all our scars that heaven bears at the foot of the fairgrounds I’m sweating I am soaking in my sheets the right rarely resounds cherishing the chore inside my cheeks now the beast of burden’s screaming out and now our throats are getting hoarse sacrilegious short stick save me now Mary stay the course Mary stay the course Mary stay the course Mary stay the course Mary stay the course
12.
goodnight sleepyhead get yourself to bed it’s time to get to bed when the sun returns and for as long as it burns I’ll wake up just for you all the things you do everything you do

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All music and lyrics written by - Kevin Janus

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released January 20, 2020

Produced by - Kevin Janus & Matt Holmes
Engineered by - Matt Holmes
Bass Guitar by - Zach Porlier
Recorded at The Echo Mill - Chicago, IL
Mastered by Carl Saff at Saff Mastering - Chicago, IL

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Kevin Janus Chicago, Illinois

Midwest artist Kevin Janus offers a unique take on modern folk music.

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